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How to Stay Thin
1. While cleaning, play music. Some people prefer funk, some like classical (though how you’re supposed to dance enough to burn calories I don’t know), and some like hip hop. I, however, am partial to...
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Aphorisms for the Wise (Part 2)
Love is an angry goat. Many hands makes light work. They also make a lot of those turkey pictures. A bird in the hand is worth two of George Bush. Wake up and smell the coffee. But don’t drink it....
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Rocket Science
I’ve had to take a few yoga breaths and channel my inner buddha in order to do this, but I’m ready now.. Lots of my friends read this blog. In fact, I’m pretty sure about 50% of all my readers are …...
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Happy Holidays! I’m Better Than You
Dear Friends, It’s that season once more! The season of giving (to me) and snowmen and hot cocoa, which means its time to read my annual Holiday Letter of Self-Obsession. As you all know, my Pulitzer...
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One of Your Closest Pets May Be Gay
My dad and I just spent a good 30 minutes laughing at horoscopes. We have come to the conclusion that (shocker) they are total crap. AIRES: If you hesitate, you may be put in the driver’s seat....
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Merry Christmas, Plebeians
Dear Friends, Well, 2013 sure did fly by — like me, on my private jet, flying off to Morocco. I have, once again, had an amazing year that was probably much more exciting than yours. As you probably...
View ArticleCan We Discuss Disney Princesses Though
I was on the phone with my dad yesterday crying (surprise) over my lack of romantic luck recently. He gave me some really wonderful advice, the most hilarious of which came when he said, “The worst...
View ArticleDiary Sessions: Part 1
When I was last visiting my parents in April, I brought all my old diaries back with me and realized…they’re kinda amazing. I was in such torment over everything. Now, I don’t want to invalidate the...
View ArticleHow to Stay Thin
1. While cleaning, play music. Some people prefer funk, some like classical (though how you're supposed to dance enough to burn calories I don't know), and some like hip hop. I, however, am partial to...
View ArticleAphorisms for the Wise (Part 2)
Love is an angry goat. Many hands makes light work. They also make a lot of those turkey pictures. A bird in the hand is worth two of George Bush. Wake up and smell the coffee. But don't drink it....
View ArticleRocket Science
I've had to take a few yoga breaths and channel my inner buddha in order to do this, but I'm ready now.. Lots of my friends read this blog. In fact, I'm pretty sure about 50% of all my readers are...
View Article
